With feral disregard to Valentine’s Day propriety that prohibited them from being seen in public, five comprehensively single people, including moi, decided to meet up for dinner. And not just dinner at any place, we boldly decided to hit Ego’s, the Italian restaurant in South Delhi immensely popular among those of a romantic persuasion out to enjoy good food, great music and even better company. It was perhaps a symbolic choice considering that we had enough of it of our own (I mean ego, pride, shamelessness, call it what you may) to not want to hide under our beds on a day when non-singles so heartlessly paraded their Facebook status.
One look at the abject appearance of the group and the nimble-footed usher briskly confined our existence to the remotest boondocks of the restaurant. Clearly, fashionably torn jeans, hawaii chappals, black t-shirt with haldi stains, customized unkempt hair etc. were as much a sign of date-less reality as they were of cool hipsterishness. He ushered us to the ‘table on the far side’ – the one close to the kitchen and the popcorn machine. When my friend Sanjiv twirled his finger at the host of untaken tables strewn all over more desirable real estate, his quizzical gesture was shot down with a firm ‘They are reserved, Sir’. No doubt reserved for happier faces that would oh so seamlessly blend in amidst red ribbons and roses pockmarking every nook and cranny of the place today.
Chris de Burg’s “Lady In Red” spat out of the Bose sound system. Typical, I thought.
“It’s not too bad,” I said, as we were all seated at our outpost.
“Well, it’s a good view of the whole place,” Asha confirmed.
“And no one can see us. I need some JD,” muttered Ravi.
Drinks were ordered at warp speed and were served just as promptly. Vodka, mojito, whisky and such like.
A young couple entered the restaurant and was quickly afforded prime seating. They seemed to have barely cracked puberty.
“How can Chintu and Munni even afford a place like this with their pocket money?” asked Goldie as she pointed at the newcomers with her eyes and picked up the vodka glass with her hands.
“Maybe he saved all year to make his girlfriend enjoy VD,” I offered intelligently.
“Must you call it VD? It’s too chee-chee,” said Goldie, making a face.
All of us sniggered at the VD joke, hardly justifying our chronological ages.
“But seriously, how?” Goldie pestered with her pertinent financial cross-examination.
“Parents are only too happy to see their kids go out and have a good time. Maybe this treat was a reward for them passing their Social Studies test,” said Sanjiv trying to read the menu card by holding it three feet from his face. “Hey, why have they reduced the font size on this bloody thing?”
“Arrey, give it to Ravi, let him order. You just make sure that you check-in all of us on Facebook!” I said, thus ending Sanjiv’s unsuccessful tryst to hold the menu right side up sans reading glasses.
“Should I order ribs?” Ravi suggested. The three vegetarians at the table looked at him glumly.
“Don’t tell me they are going to serve them drinks! They are what, twelve? Fourteen, tops!” wailed Goldie observing from her vantage point.
“Let them be happy. Chocolates, roses and tea are the new combination on Valentine’s Day,” Asha said authoritatively. “And by tea, I mean the one from Long Island.”
“Amen, Sister!” said Goldie, and the ladies sipped copiously from their glasses.
Food was ultimately sorted. It was decided to “just order lots of appetizers”, which is infinitesimally easy to order, though it also ensures that only microscopic portions of the “awesome” stuff end up getting passed around.
A young couple walked in with their small kid. The kid was five, perhaps ten – we were unlettered in matters of kid’s ages. Or kids, generally speaking.
“Who brings kids to their romantic dinner? Fools!” said I categorically.
“My friend just moved to Bangalore. He is having trouble getting his kid admitted to school,” Ravi said.
“Terrible,” said Sanjiv munching his jacket potato with oodles of butter, cheese and chives.
“Why? I think it is great!” said Asha as she looked at Sanjiv suspiciously. Ravi looked up from his buffalo wings quizzically.
“Oh, I meant the whole school thing – terrible. The potatoes – YUM!”
“My colleague at work has invited me to his daughter’s happy budday this Saturday”, I said. “What should I take as a gift?”
That set off a cackle of laughter at the table. Despite choked food pipes, loud coughing and misty eyes, the other four still managed to mock at my predicament.
“Do get us all return gifts. UNCLE!” managed Sanjiv through more hysterical laughter.
“Bastards!” I said, as I smiled.
The food and drink ravage-fest continued. Presently, the unfriendly usher came by our table again. He enquired pointlessly if we were enjoying our evening, to which we nodded politely.
“I have a request,” he added, this time a trifle sheepishly.
“What is it?” asked Ravi.
“We start our Valentine’s Day Special in an hour. This will become a couples-only restaurant after that. Couples Only. No single people. Not even in groups.”
“Yes, yes, we know,” said Sanjiv gruffly.
“I just thought I should remind you all. Thanks for understanding,” the usher added as he flashed a creepy smile and begged our leave.
“Asshole,” I said once we were safely out of his hearing range. Everyone concurred.
“I am not coming out on Valentine’s Day. Ever again,” said Goldie, as she gulped the last of her vodka.
Asha looked at her and smiled.
“Let it be, dear. One last round? Happy Hour doesn’t end until 6.30. We can still be out of here by 7 before the crowds come in.”
To be clear, I shall remain tightlipped on which parts of this story are true and which not! But, do know that all the characters in this story are absolutely real – these are my close friends, who also happen to be happily single. Also typical are their reactions!
And please don’t get angry at the management of Ego’s! It’s an awesome restaurant in New Friends Colony in Delhi…fun, lively, good food – you should definitely visit!
Sounds like me and a gang of single friends a few years ago, Ricky – minus the JD! Honestly, I always wonder where kids get those copious amounts of money that they’re quite happy to spend at restaurants, etc! In the ‘old’ days, we either went out with our parents or ate at the cheapest dosa joint….No moral comparisons, just curiosity!
Don’t they say that everything becomes alright with a JD?
You’re right… Even I can’t fathom the bottomless wallets young people seem to carry these days. In my time, all we could afford were samosas. And those too were shared!
It is that time of the year again. I almost dreaded reading your post seeing the title. I find the hoopla and madness quite amusing. If you got it flaunt it buddy. If you don’t show the middle finger
.
Great philosophy! I seem to be showing my middle finger too often, though! Maybe I should be working on getting some of the good stuff that other folks have!
But why dread reading my post on VD? I am practically Cupid when I walk around in my underwear carrying my bow and arrow!
Not sure I can take in any more lovey dovey posts that’s why though I knew yours will be quirky
. I love being in love. Sound corny! But what can be bad about having someone that truly loves you. Yet, I hate this shove it in the face of others approach and the gaudy displays. And these commercializations are best stayed away from. BTW what do you think of New Year’s parties and other such crappy events? I heard that there are karwa chauth parties too now!
BTW Happy Valentine’s Day *ducks and hides*
I love Karwa Chauth parties! Where else can one get to see women of ALL SHAPES, SIZES AND BACKGROUNDS go absofuckinglutely christmastree! It is a miracle of enormous proportions!
Hey, nothing corny about being in love – roses, pink ribbons, vodka, whatever tickles one’s fancy!
Happy Valentine’s Day to you too! Hope you are gorging on chocolates right now
Total madness.. do they really have only couples like thing?
Hah! You must not believe everything I write on my blog!
Aaah.. “Valentine’s Day”, from the Egyptian word that means “man buy expensive gift for the woman”…
happy one to u too Rickie
fc*klove
Yep, that sounds about right! I am on my way to catch your blog entry…I am assuming you have discussed the history behind this momentous day!
I would have been mad if someone tried telling me to leave just because it’s couples only evening. All said and done, love makes the world go around whether mushy couples or goofy friends.
Have a great day, tomorrow, Ricky
Hah, don’t believe everything that I write on this blog!
I wish you a very happy Valentine’s Day, too!
so grab yourself a partner if you want to enjoy a late night. But, all this hype is a bit too much for my taste.
Well, my philosophy is to let kids enjoy their little love drama! I had better not be seen on the side of Shiv Sena on this one!
Somehow, the hype is so much more in India. I cannot imagine that restaurants would turn away “non-couples” here in the US, as long as you were paying for a meal.
I think hype toh udhar bhi bohot hai! Anyway, don’t believe half the things I wrote! I’m sure you know Ego’s in Friends Colony… They are hardly likely to behave like jerks. Thought I’d have some fun at our and their expense!
Couples only? Really? That is really cheap! No wonder poor ‘VD’ is shunned by so many people
Haha…I should hope VD is shunned by people for many other more important reasons!
Ha……I hope you will have a great time at the budday party.
As I am sure you can totally imagine, I am looking forward to my return gift!
I was fantasizing about the jacket potatoes and buffalo wings. That’s what happens when you have been married for too long. Damn!
And that’s why I shall go back to that place even after having been shamelessly ejected from it before. (the second part of my statement was a lie)
But what stopped you from telling the waiter that you guys are couples? There are enough same sex couples and threesome couples in the world. He would have understood.
Perhaps we should have asked the usher to join us… To complete the even number quorum! Dammit! Hind sight is always 20:20!
Just one question: Is ‘Ego’s’ a real place?
Loved the choice of words…
Yes, it’s an awesome restaurant in Friends Colony. I was just having fun in this post at their expense. The observations of the group (my friends and I) are quite typical but the whole part about the usher etc was made up. It’s a lovely place- you should visit.
A truly Happy Hour, couples be damned. BTW, VD sounds ghastly compared to Valentines Day.
Haan…who cares about protocols and couples on VD…when there is JD around?
hahahah….hilarious! Seriously, this VD stuff is totally jackass!!
VD! It’s too chee-chee to call it that!
Hmmm! A VD post without any mush? Rickie! That was awesome as usual.
Hahha…it was a bit mushy, I thought – after all, I did mention roses and red!
Rickie that was the maximum mush one can digest today.Bless you for not crossing the limit. Nice pleasant read it was.
I didn’t want my readers to throw up – after all, I only always have their welfare in my heart!
Was sure you would have something to say on VD. Btw, good pun on VD, eh?
As you can probably tell by now, my brain defies my chronological age! Why else would I find “VD” funny each time someone mentions it!
So this is where I found solace after “trying” to ignore the mush, the whole day through! Damn, I should have visited earlier
Glad you came…I’ve missed you on my blog for a while! Hope you catch up on some of the old stuff as well! I promise you won’t be sorry
I haven’t missed anything! Just that I was juggling with work when I read and hence couldn’t comment. I don’t miss a post!
rickie if this is true then i must say it was u’ll who n-joyed d valentine day more- observing nd n-joying watching people with their valentines..
Well, let’s just say that not all of it is true. But yes, observing and enjoying are my favourite activities!
HI,
WISH YOU AND YOUR LOVED ONES A VERY HAPPY VALENTINE’s DAY..HAVE A GOOD ONE.VERY NICE.
Regards
kiran
http://www.shopncool.com
Hilarious .. actually its your fault Rickie .. who told you to go out to Dinner on valentines
But honestly I get a kick out of observing these couples go all mushy 
Aren’t they a sight? Mushy couples!
Clearly, fashionably torn jeans, hawaii chappals, black t-shirt with haldi stains, customized unkempt hair etc. were as much a sign of date-less reality as they were of cool hipsterishness.
effortless flow. Although I was hoping for a fictional touch where in the end one of the gang members, with a raised left eyelid targets another posh joint to crash, and the others stare up at the ceiling and laugh like mad scientists 
Well, these are real people I was talking about…and their very real and typical reactions if they were to find themselves in a setting like the one I described! I think it would have been totally against character if they did the things you’ve described. And then these friends would be after my life, threatening me with defamation lawsuits, if I were to portray them as such!
So you see, my hands were tied to not make them look any more colourful!
They say opium is a lot more potent when mixed with pickle oil. You don’t need anything added to your posts.
What more can I say?
That’s the kindest thing to say – thank you!
Very glad that we connected.