January 30, 1948 is an important date in modern Indian history. Who’s to say what the course of this nation might have been had that day gone differently. Here is a short story I wrote with that historic incident as the backdrop.
I don’t do serious fiction often, so your critique on the story, especially if you don’t like it, will be greatly appreciated!
***
The Young Man pats the inside pocket of his waistcoat to make sure that the package is still secure. He feels comforted by the touch.
It is a late-January morning in Delhi. The air is crisp, clean and cold. The sun has been up for a couple of hours, pushing forth its ample light yet feeble warmth around the dew drenched verdure. The birds have been at play all morning, noisily shouting cryptic and repetitive instructions at each other. The sky is a freshly minted blue, almost speckless, except for a large spillage of three shades of white towards the west.
The Prayer Meeting is about to commence momentarily.
The two uniformed sentries at the Birla House gate keep a lazy eye on the human mass that is unhurriedly making its way to the prayer hall. One of them makes eye contact with The Young Man as he passes him by. The Young Man folds his hands in greeting which the turbaned guard acknowledges with a quick nod followed by a head gesture as if to say, ‘Please keep moving’.
Amid the sounds of slow shuffling feet, The Young Man looks around him. The ambience is of solemn but affected reverence, the kind that usually manifests on its own in the presence of inordinate greatness close by. He sees men and women of disparate breeding and faiths. Most are wearing white, the universally endorsed colour of deference. And also, purity, especially the kind that is shaped from homespun yarn. To him, it seems that for these people, Khadi is not merely a token of sentimental remembrance or exhibited gratitude, it is more a representation of their inner conscience of humility and simplicity. He looks down at his own kurta. It is light brown, mill produced. He feels a sudden flush of annoyance, of not having picked a garment that would have allowed him greater congruity with his surroundings. But what am I to do, he thinks to himself. This is a special day, and he wants to look his best regardless of the testimony that his vêtements might affirm.
A couple of people behind The Young Man are overheard talking about not going straight to the prayer hall. They discuss staying outside in the garden itself. “You see, he will come through this path on his way to the hall,” says one. “We will get a better view if we just wait here then. I might even be able to touch his feet!” surmises his partner excitedly.
It is clear to The Young Man what he must do.
A few more minutes pass. The arriving crowds keep making their way from the outside gate to the prayer hall, eventually thinning to a trickle. Ever so often, a few, mainly enthusiastic young bucks, break from convention and congregate around The Young Man and the two others who started this satellite assembly. There is a now a reasonable number clustered around The Young Man.
“Are you certain that he is going to come this way?” asks The Young Man to a grim looking fellow standing next to him.
“Yes. He is going to emerge from there,” the man replies, turning his head and pointing to the large building with an arched entrance flanking the left side of the garden. “He always follows the same route.”
It appears that the grim fellow has been here before. He sounds quite certain.
“I have been coming here every day for the past several days,” the grim man confirms voluntarily. “It’s the same walk, the same time. Every morning.”
The grim man seems a trifle lost in thought. Pre-occupied. Conflicted, almost.
“It is my first time here,” The Young Man says to continue their dialogue. “I hope I have the fortitude to accomplish what I have come here to do today.”
The Young Man’s words seem to shake the grim looking fellow out of his thoughts.
“We all wish we have the fortitude to accomplish what we have set ourselves out to do, don’t we?” he says. “Unfortunately, not all of us are as strong as we think we are.”
“I think we are all strong,” retorts The Young Man. “It’s just that some find their strength sooner than others.”
“Then I guess if you have the conviction, your time will come,” the grim fellow responds. “Perhaps today.”
Then adding wistfully, “Or perhaps tomorrow. Maybe even next year.”
The Young Man looks at his grim companion who seems lost in thought again.
Several more minutes pass. These ones in silence.
The sudden sounds of commotion on the left flank are unmistakable. A group of people, centered by the dhoti clad man everyone has come to see, emerges from the arched entrance, causing an immediate stir among the crowd waiting in the garden. A few break away and run towards the prayer hall, wanting to be the ones to herald the imminent news to those waiting inside. Most others, including The Young Man and his new acquaintance, stay put and peer at the emerging party expectantly.
“Here he comes!” The Young Man says, stating the obvious. The grim fellow is stiff and says nothing.
The Young Man again notices his new acquaintance’s face. It appears to be a picture of tumult, as if a million conflicting emotions are waging an unruly battle – one whose outcome is far from certain.
As the emerging party strides purposefully towards the prayer hall, the animated assembly in its path parts to either side making way. The worn, elderly man in the middle folds his hands in greeting as he flashes his warm toothless smile – a smile that has not infrequently brought the mightiest to their knees. His mesmerized audience can do little more than mirror the old man’s greeting and bow its head in obeisance. Many eyes moisten. A few tremulous hands lurch forward to touch the coarse homespun shawl covering the frail man.
Now only a few steps away, The Young Man, who has prepped for this moment in his mind a dozen times, freezes with anxiety. His leaden arms wouldn’t move and the words in his head splinter into pieces at the tip of his tongue. His skin goes sallow. The biggest moment of his young life is upon him, and yet, his body and soul seem to abandon him, leaving him bereft of action or thought.
The dhoti clad man and his troop are merely a breath away now. The moment is about to be lost.
Right at that instant, as if in slow motion, The Young Man notices his grim companion break away from his side and walk directly on to the path of the old man’s pack. He falls to his knees, drops his head and folds his hands, bringing the group to an abrupt stop.
“Brother, Bapu is already late,” says a kindly voice.
Two frail arms start to bend forward to coax the man in their path back to his feet. It is perhaps just the nudge The Young Man needs to rediscover his voice.
Rediscover his Conviction.
As his grim faced partner rises and steps away, The Young Man assumes his place.
“Bapu, I have travelled for several days and nights from Champaran to meet you. You may not remember this now but many years ago, when you launched your first satyagraha from our village Motihari, you stayed at my grandparents’ hut. And despite our caste and our poverty, there was only one person in that entire village that you would accept water from. It was from a little child. Do you remember her? That was my Mai.”
“Today, I am the first Harijan in my state to clear the Indian Administrative Services exam. And my Mai felt that the first person to solemnize my achievement with a piece of sweet should be you.”
The Young Man quickly fumbles into the inner pocket of his waistcoat and brings out a small package. His nervous fingers tear open the modest newspaper wrapping.
“No one in our village will bless my success before you do. Bapu, won’t you accept some gur from our house?”
The frail old man, his eyes now wet, extends his bent fingers towards the offering and takes a piece of jaggery. He places his other hand on The Young Man’s bowed head. The Young Man closes his eyes as if silently partaking unspoken blessings.
“Hey Ram.”
Time appears to be still for several moments.
“Bapu?” repeats the kindly voice of Bapu’s companion.
With polite folded hands, the human impediment in the old man’s path withdraws, and the troop resumes its brisk pace towards the prayer hall.
The assembly around The Young Man starts to break up, too. Most follow the departing group, quickly falling in brisk step behind them. A few remain, unsure of what to do next. One of them stares hard at The Young Man.
“You froze,” the grim fellow says finally. “I figured I had to stop Bapu so you could do what you had to. After all, you had come a long way for this.”
The Young Man merely nods his head. The two men stare at each other for another moment, instantly reliving perhaps the singular experience of their lifetime. Then, both smile.
“Isn’t it strange that we have not yet introduced ourselves to each other? I am Nathu Ram Godse from Poona. What’s your name?”
If you liked this, you might also enjoy another short story I wrote a while ago. That also had a historical backdrop and was titled – The Littered Sky. Click this link : http://reekycoleslaw.com/?p=382
This honestly is your forte. I love your comic pieces too…..but when you write serious fiction, you have the reader and her undivided attention. Loved it!
You are the kindest with your compliments. Thanks so much for reading. I love that you loved it!
You had me guessing. Well done.
Thanks so much, Janu! It’s hard work to keep the reader engaged till the end!
very few people can write serious fiction and humour with the same panache. One word – Brilliant !
Not quite sure about the panache part, but yes, this was a serious attempt to write something serious. I am so glad you liked it. Thanks for your lovely comment!
awesome read….enjoyed every bit of it…
Glad you liked it, Manini. Thank you!
If only it could be the reality!
Wonderful job.
How things would have been different, no one can tell. But one can hope!
Thank you for reading and for the compliment!
Loved it. Thanks
Thank you for reading!
My dear friend Tanmay wrote a lovely comment which my silly blog stuck under a wrong section. Here is it -
Loved it! The description of Gandhi emerging and the anticipation of that was lovely. As was him blessing the young man. But then I am and have been a big Gandhi fan. I hope the young man was not Godse, that was the only doubt I had.
My response – Thanks so much. I am a big Gandhi fan, too!
Had me engrossed till the end. A refreshingly different post.
Thanks for reading, Alka. Glad you liked it!
You have the verdict: your serious fiction is as engrossing as your lighter pieces. Your vocation is staring you in the face. Grab it!
What a kind thing to say! Thank you! I am trying to get better at it.
Rickie, this was brilliant! The first time I read the post, it blew my mind. By now, I’ve read it 3 times. Like your friend above pointed out, I was wondering whether it was Godse who would turn out to be the young chap. Thankfully it wasn’t! You subtly brought out how prejudices and mindsets are iron clad despite kind acts or influences. Your forte is that you can bring out subtle nuances in your storytelling whether funny or serious. And, I just love these kind of intense posts, with a message yet not preachy. What more can I say! I doff my hat at you, my friend.
What can I say, Rachna, except a huge thank you from the bottom of my heart. It is comments like this that egg me on to bigger, better writing!
Thank you!
And the readability is quite good against the brown backdrop!
Yeah, not a lost case, but I could improve it, as BlogwatiG says. One of these weekends, I will get to this…it is like pulling teeth!
Rickie! This is amazing. I am at a loss for words and can only echo the others – your serious fiction is as good as your humor.
Suresh, as always, you are too kind! Thank you for reading. You might not believe it but I always wait for your feedback because you are always so warm!
Be assured, Rickie, that I am also being honest. I have said this before and I say it again – whenever I read your posts, I truly feel that I ought not to be writing at all
Can one blush and gush at the same time? The answer is yes!
rickie ,d work is superb. it appears as if we’ll r present there.this is d first one by u-which i ‘ve read.
Mamta, thanks for stopping by and the appreciation! Hope to see you back regularly!
Ah! Call me a history student, but I knew Godse was coming!
And not being too much of a Gandhi fan, I would say he had a Big Big caste problem..However that said, nobody can take his achievements away from him. His vision is inspirational!
All I’ll say is, don’t judge a man from the 1800s with 2013 sensibilities. Agree with what you said – Gandhi is among but a handful of men born in this subcontinent whose achievements are inseparable from the country’s.
Thanks for reading…hope you liked the story!
Rickie, I love the way you bring the whole episode to life. I could almost feel I was there. And ofcourse, the suspense was masterful! Well done.
Thanks, Shuchi! So glad you liked it.And glad to know that the ‘atmospherics’ came through as well
Engrossing all the way. I could visualize the day and its happenings. If only it happened for real.
If only…
Thanks for reading, Sangeeta! And for sharing
I had to share. Reading it again.. I am looking forward for more serious fiction from you.
Thanks again. By the way, there is a link to another short story I wrote a while ago. It’s at the bottom of the post, under Gandhi’s image. Do read and let me know your thoughts about that one!
A parallel universe, no doubt. Writers have this strange facility to transcend the obvious and get into the not-so-obvious… loved the story.
Arvind Passey
http://www.passey.info
Isn’t it totally awesome? That you can make the world look like whatever you wish to while writing a story!
Thanks for reading my tale from a parallel universe! Glad you liked it
That was chilling, Rickie. Thought the young man would turn out to be Godse and the other was a decoy. I think everyone who reads this must wish your version was true.
Thanks for reading! Yes, too easy for a writer to spin a yarn, isn’t it? How I wish it was that easy to spin an alternate reality!
Hope you liked the story!
Rickie – despite all I’ve read the anti-Gandhi stuff I’ve read over the years, he’s always had my deep admiration – no one dared to do what he did. And you, my dear friend, have gone up several notches in my estimation. What a stunning piece of writing. You’ve spoiled us now – we’ll be hanging around for more and more! ♥
What a thoroughly wonderful thing to say, Corinne. Thank you!
The greatness of the man is that he is not just a man – he is a philosophy. How many such humans have even existed?
I read it four times. Off to read it again, mesmerising … a slice of history. Thought I would stop and comment before I read it once more.
I am glad you stopped and wrote such a sweet comment…thank you, Ritu!
Excellent work! It not only kept me engaged and satisfied to the end, but made me go back and read it over again. I find writing fictional narrative very difficult, while you do it with great ease. Great pleasure to read something in a different vein from your usual work!
Thanks, Subhorup! I am glad I practically forced you to read my post…hahahh!
It’s feedback like this that makes me want to try newer, bigger stuff.
A real great piece from you. I admire Gandhiji a lot, for his priciples and actions. We normally read historical facts about those times. But as a fiction, really great, it was as if you were there in Birla house. ( the Horticulture and other depts have made all artificial things there, including cement foot prints of Gandhiji from the ‘arch’ to the place where he was shot !!)
I believe I visited Birla House as a child, though I have no memories of it. It will be interesting to pay another visit!
I am an admirer of Gandhi myself for the reasons you have mentioned. And for one more – that he was a leader with vision and a philosophy that resonated with a billion people. There aren’t too many people who can claim that!
Thanks for reading!
Loved the setup and detailing. I love the idea of parallel universe but you never know that this would have happened a day or a week before the actual incident.
I was hoping for someone to bring that up…thank you for noticing! I kept the date vague in the story. You are right, parallel universe or just the wrong date…one is open to interpretation
Thanks for reading and the appreciation!
Sorry, I took such a long time to comment. I do have my reservation about “his” greatness.
But you my dear, are quite the consummate story-teller.
You are very kind – thanks for the appreciation.
More so because despite all the thunder, lightning and floods that nature threw your way, you still persevered to not miss my blog post…hehheh
Jokes aside, hope things are back to normal now.
This was Awesome. I kind of guessed the person but I was wondering which of the two was the one. Wonderful narration. Amazing writing
Thank you so much, Ashwini! That one of them had to be Godse wasn’t much of a surprise…I was hoping for the culmination of events to be the key, well, revelation. Hopefully, that came across in the story!
This is what I wrote when I upped it on FB – “When an entire story builds up like a background music, aiding the scene, blending with it so gracefully that you can’t separate the event from the narration. Amazingly well written.” I am glad I stumbled upon your works so soon. I have a lot to learn.
Many thanks, Saurabh, for your comment and for sharing! I am glad that we have connected through this story.
Again, I failed miserably, this time on the character. Just wondering how the idea of this story came?
Thanks for reading and commenting. Truth be told, I was quite happy with the way this story shaped up. Thankfully, a lot of my readers seem to agree, which is always nice!
I wrote this story to mark Mahatma Gandhi death anniversary. Just thought it would be interesting to present an alternate scenario (a ‘parallel universe’ as Arvind Passey said). What if history was somehow defied? Maybe for an hour, a day, a year? I guess a writer (as well a poet) has that power, right? To paint a different picture – familiar, yet not quite?
Look at me getting so prosaic!
To your other question, yes, I am trying to work on a full length book. It is hard work, though…and I get distracted so easily!