My New Word Submissions – Part 2

So, the list continues. I have 2 new words to add to the previous list.

Rue-pee-wee (, for short) – noun. The feeling of utter impotence when staring at sudden cataclysmic shrinkage. Usually to be used in context of financial instruments, e.g. investments, forex etc. And never to be used when talking of body parts, even when usage feels perfectly apt.

Typical usage – “I bumped into him at the Chemist. He was there to buy some Viagra. I suspect the only way he can tell his wife about their Facebook stock’s rue-pee-wee is after giving her some crazy, hot sex”.

 

Cuss-Tamer Dare – noun. A charming phone-based mind-game played by Customer Care Executives to get calling customers to alternate between hair-pulling exasperation and frazzled-subservience. The dare is won by the executive who is able to keep a customer on the phone the longest, without helping him/her at all.

Typical usage – “Oh, it’s easy to win at Cuss-Tamer Dare! Start by telling the sucker that the server is slow today. Then, get him to fax the last 5 phone bills, his passport and driver’s license copies, and a photo of all family members on the family plan to a made-up fax number. Offer to keep holding while the asshole does that. After a couple of hours, he will finally give up and ask for the address of the nearest Service Centre. Let him know…and don’t forget to thank him for calling Vodafone Customer Care!”

 

And here are some earlier submissions, in case you missed them!

 

Gangoogly (or just ganguli, for short) – noun. The false pretense of being a Quality Product even though it is at least 5 years past the Expiry Date.

Typical usage – One century in over 365 days? How long will Sachin Tendulkar continue bowling the gangoogly to us?

 

Ass-Archaic (or just S-R-K-ic, for short) – noun. Bouts of antediluvianism and grandiosity causing a seemingly rational person to behave like a total jackass, usually in a public area.

Typical usage – I spent good money and precious time watching that crapfest called Tees Maar Khan. I could make a better film than that fucking no-talent Sirish Kunder, even with my eyes closed! I am going to go all ass-archaic on him if I ever see him!

 

Kingfizzlenoun. A crash, failure, fiasco, collapse, fall through, defeat, pie-on-the-face of very, very large proportion. Usually applies to a pompous ass (and his progeny, too)

Typical usage – Just like we do so often, the whole idea was to hit the shacks in Goa early and booze the living daylights out of us. Instead, we spent the entire day at the airport waiting for the damned flight to take off. Kingfizzle, man! Epic kingfizzle!

 

 

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